


Ace of Spades

by broccococcoli



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: (kinda?), Cannon Divergent, Fallout: New Vegas Spoilers, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, NCR | New California Republic, New Vegas, Panic Attacks, Post-Fallout: New Vegas, Post-Game, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Trans Male Character, oc x cannon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:08:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26457682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broccococcoli/pseuds/broccococcoli
Summary: The story of Courier Six, Harlow "Ace" Ahearna.
Relationships: Craig Boone/Male Courier
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Post Traumatic

**Author's Note:**

> Ok here we go: this is basically a rewrite of the original Ace of Spades because it was a fucking MESS. it starts out basically the same but deviates after the first two chapters. I kinda. reconned Ace's crush on Arcade because i kinda dont really vibe with their relationship in a romantic sense, so now it more focuses on Ace and his relationship with Jack and Boone, as well as the events that follow the second battle of hoover dam.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ace returned from one of his last outings to the Lucky 38 to find his friends worried for him, but instead of facing them, he runs away to confide in an old friend.

There were always long stretches of time where Ace went out on his own and didn’t come back for a few weeks to several months. He always came back, of course, the bastard was tougher than a deathclaw and probably one of the most stubborn people anyone Boone had ever met, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t worry. Ace always told him “I’ll be fine, shouldn’t take too long. Just going to check out this crashed satellite/canyon wreckage/abandoned Brotherhood bunker. I promise I’ll come back in one piece.” And he always did, but he still had everyone worried sick every time he left without at least Rex or ED-E by his side. This impossible man who’s probably survived more shit than most people will in their lifetime always survived the worse that the world had to throw at him, but Boone couldn’t help but wonder what kind of toll that took on him. Even if the Mojave or the Divide or the Big MT didn’t kill him, the stress might.

He finally got home from his most recent excursion a month after leaving. It wasn’t the longest he had been gone, but it wasn’t the shortest either. He looked even worse than he had the last time- tired eyes and messy hair matted with blood and dirt, dirty clothes and tough, torn up hands. He had new scars across his body that he didn’t seem keen on letting anyone touch or clean. He asked everyone to leave him be for a few hours, to not touch or talk to him. Everyone filtered out of the penthouse, into the elevator, down to the cocktail lounge. They all sat in stiff silence, no one daring to comment. Lilly busied herself on the other side of the counter, cleaning dishes and cups as gently as she could, hoping to keep her hands busy. Boone stripped his rifle on a nearby table, while Cas took a seat at the bar and poured herself a glass of whiskey. Veronica sat on the couch next to Raul, with Rex sitting at their feet and ED-D floating silently nearby. The clink of glass and metal were the only sounds to fill the room.

After an agonizing two hours of silence, there was a swoosh as the elevator doors opened. Everyone perked up, and looked to the doorway as Ace stepped out. His hair was freshly cleaned and brushed, armor replaced with a clean shirt and jeans. He padded into the lounge on bare feet, hands in his pockets. He didn’t look much less tired than before, but he definitely looked more comfortable.

The first to greet him was Veronica, who jumped to her feet and walked up to him. He smiled at her and said “Hey, V. What’s going on?”

Veronica gently took his hands, careful to watch his face for any discomfort, and said, “Are you alright, Harlow? Everyone was really worried, especially Boone.”

Boone looked up from his rifle and scowled, as if she had betrayed something private or scandalous.

“He kept pacing and mumbling about you while you were gone,” she said. “And- and Rex was really sad, he kept crying, and Eddie kept looking around the Penthouse and the Presidential Suite for you-”

“I’m fine,” Ace said. “I just… I got caught up in another adventure, I guess.”

“And you couldn’t take any of us with you?” Cass asked. “I don’t doubt how capable you are, boss, but leaving for weeks at a time with no word to any of us about where you went or what’s happening- you think we wouldn’t worry?”

“No, I don’t,” Ace said. “It’s just that I couldn’t take any of you with me if I wanted since I was kidnapped.”

“Kidnapped?!” everyone shouted in disbelief. Ace winced at their reaction.

“What?” he said. “It’s not the first time-”

“That isn’t exactly comforting, Ace,” Boone said. He stood up and glared at him. “We were all sure you died this time.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” Ace said. “The person responsible was… dealt with.” 

“Who was it?” Veronica asked innocently. 

Ace looked her in the eye, unsure how to answer. How could he tell her that he had trapped her former mentor in the basement of a casino to starve to death, even if she knew he was bat shit crazy to begin with? He couldn’t bring himself to admit it to her and instead told her: “Some guy. I don’t think any of you would know because I didn’t before he kidnapped me and strapped a collar bomb around my neck.” 

“A collar bomb?!” Boone exclaimed. “Are you kidding me, Ace?!”

“No,” Ace said. “I’m not. Look, you guys are being so dramatic. I’m fine. Whatever happened there is over and done with, you don’t need to worry.”

“I’ll say,” Boone said sarcastically. “You were kidnapped and had a _bomb_ strapped to your neck, Harlow. Why _wouldn’t_ we worry?” 

“Hey, why doesn’t everybody calm down for a sec,” Cass said as she stood up. “There’s no need for y’all to get your underpants in a twist over this. Can we at least, for the moment, just be glad Ace is home and that he’s in one piece?”

“Cass is right,” Veronica declared. “We can argue about it later. I think we should celebrate! Bust out the drinks, put on some music.”

“Great idea, dearie,” Lily said as she turned to the radio to turn it on. When she turned the knop, static played from the speakers. Seconds later a gun shot rang out and the radio exploded, knocked off the counter. Everyone looked at Ace, who stood heaving, smoking pistol in his hand, face etched with panic. They stared at him in shock for a moment until he lowered the gun. 

“Harlow, what the hell is your problem?!” Boone demanded. “You can’t just come back here, dodge all of our questions, and shoot the fucking radio at random like that! You could have hurt someone!”

“I-” Ace stammed for a bit, trying to find words. He was surprised as anyone at his knee jerk reaction to hearing that radio static and he wasn’t sure how to answer for his actions. Instead, he opted to leave. “I’ve gotta go,” he said. “I-I need to be alone.” 

He turned to leave and opened the elevator. Boone went after him, but the elevator door closed before he could get in. He sighed and turned to others. “Well, fuck,” he said. “Should I go after him?”

“Probably not,” Raul said. “From what I can tell, he just went through a whole lot the past couple weeks. I’m no psychiatrist, but I’m pretty sure that can take a toll on a person. If he says he needs time alone, it’s probably best to leave him be.” 

Boone sighed and took off his sunglasses, pinching the bridge of his nose. He felt helpless, he felt like he needed to do something. Ace was hurt one way or another, and it’s not like a friend to just leave him alone to suffer in silence. But he knew Ace. Ace wouldn’t want to talk about it. He would want to be alone, to shut himself off. Ace doesn’t let people see him hurt often, if he can avoid it. Regardless of what Raul said, Boone didn’t think that was good for him. Maybe he did need time alone, maybe he would tell them all what would happen on his own terms, but he was hurting and Boone knew from first hand experience that shutting yourself off doesn’t help. There was a difference between healthy alone time, and self isolation and he was worried Ace might be wanting the latter. 

“Fine,” Boone said. “I’ll leave him alone.” 

*****

Ace wasn’t fond of casinos. Ironic, considering where he lived, but the crowds of people yelling and all the sounds from the machines wasn’t something he liked being around. Too many people, too much noise. He liked the Atomic Wrangler the least of all. The owners were money grubbing assholes and the customers were even worse. Of course now, after all that’s happened, he had even more reason to hate casinos. He wouldn’t even be going anywhere near it if it weren’t for the fact that he needed to talk to someone who worked inside. 

He was sitting at a table, drinking whiskey from a glass cup, dressed surprisingly decent disite his area of work- white tank top and faded blue jeans, snake hide cowboy boots, ash-blonde hair shaved on the sides and pulled into a ponytail. Probably the only thing that gave away what he did for the casino was the ostentatious black collar on his neck. Ace took a deep breath before approaching him and taking a seat next to him at the table.

“Well, if it ain’t the mighty Courier,” he said with a grin. “Finally come down from your tower, huh? Been a while.” 

“Guess it has,” Ace said. “It’s nice to see you, Jack.”

“Same here,” Jack said. “Can I get you a drink?”

“No, I- I’m not in the mood for alcohol tonight,” Ace told him. “I just wanted to talk to you.” 

“What about?” 

“God, I- I don’t even know where to start,” Ace said with a sigh. He ran a hand through his hair. “I was kidnapped by an old guy, got a bomb collar strapped to my neck and came close to exploding any time I got close to radio, had to infiltrate an old casino with a ghoul, a nightkin, and a former Brotherhood scribe- on second thought, I might take that drink.” 

Jack gave a light hearted chuckle in an attempt to ease the situation. “Alright, I can go get it for you,” He offered. “What’ll you have?”

“Rum and Nuka on ice,” Ace said, eyes closed, rubbing his temple. 

Jack got up and walked to the bar where James stood cleaning a glass. “Gonna need a Rum and Nuka,” he said. 

“Your customer’s payin’, right?” James asked. “I’ve been given away too many free drinks for you recently, Jack.” 

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Jack waved the statement away. Once the drink was done, he took it over to the table and gave it to Ace, who promptly took a large swig from the glass mug. 

“Ha, I remember when we were 17 and you stole those bottles of beer from your step dad,” Jack said. “You took one sip and spit it straight out. Hard to imagine how much has changed since then to make you drink like this.” 

“You wouldn’t believe half of the shit I could tell you if I did,” Ace said as he wiped his mouth. “I’ve seen more crazy shit in the past fucking year than most people see in their life times, Jack.” 

“I’ve seen my fair share of bullshit,” Jack laughed. “I think I’d be inclined to believe you.” 

They sat and talked for about an hour, all the while getting a little more drunk. Soon Ace was way more relaxed and bubbly. He had only had two drinks, but he stopped at the second one, not wanting to get too wasted. Jack didn’t mind, he didn’t really like getting shitfaced either. Between the retelling of robots and mutant lizard people and a casino haunted by ghosts of the old world, Ace had ended up leaning comfortably against Jack’s shoulder, who in turn had his arm snaked around his hip. 

“Listen, Jack,” Ace said, finally sitting up. “I should probably get back to the Lucky 38. The gang is probably worried about me. Knowing Boone, he’s probably figured out by now that I left.”

Jack tugged on his hip lightly, silently begging him to say. “Come on, we can talk for a little while longer,” he said. “You could even stay the night with me, if you want.” 

“Jack,” called a voice from behind. He looked over his shoulder to see James Garret glaring at his angrily from the bar, arms folded. “May I speak to you for a moment.” 

Jack sighed and got up, walked to the bar and glared James down. The man was shorter than him, most people were. “What?”

“You know I have a rule about not fraternizing with the customers unless they’ve paid up front, right?” James said. “He’s gotta pay if he wants your company.” 

“He ain’t a customer, he’s my friend,” Jack said. “I’m not gonna make ‘im pay me to talk, James.” 

“Last time I checked, _you_ were on the clock,” James said. “Whether or not he’s your friend, he’s gotta pay.” 

“What are you gonna do about it if he doesn’t? You can’t afford to lose me, I’m your most popular escort. I rack in half of your fucking profit.” 

James huffed angrily. “Fine, just this once I will let it go,” he conceded. “But next time, there _will_ be consequences.” 

Jack waved his hand in the air dismissively, then walked back to the table. “Now,” he said. “Where were we.” 

“You wanted me to spend the night, right?” Ace said as he stood. “Well, why don’t we go to your place?” 

Jack grinned then called back at James. “I’m clockin’ out for the night.” 

“Fine, just don’t be late tomorrow,” Jame called back at him. 

He slung an arm over Ace’s shoulder as the two of them walked out. 

*****

Jack’s apartment wasn’t too glamorous- sparsely furnished with a bit of litter here and there. He lived alone and mostly did business in the Atomic Wrangler so there wasn’t really any need to keep it pretty for anyone else, but suddenly, with Ace in his room, he was a little nervous about the mess. Ace, however, did not seem to care much because the first thing he did once there were inside was to pull Jack into a kiss and tear at his clothes desperately. Jack didn’t complain, just pulled him in closed and let him tangle his fingers into Jack’s blonde hair. Did he love Ace? Maybe. It was hard to call what they had “romance” when they only ever saw each other once every few months for a hookup and then they wouldn’t see each other again until Ace felt like visiting. Jack understood- Ace was a busy guy with a lot of irons in the fire. Even still, Jack missed him when he was gone. 

They eventually made their way to the bed, where Ace pushed Jack down onto it and straddled him. He pulled the white tank top over Jack’s head, tugging it off of his thin arms. 

“Harlow-” Jack said, but he was cut off by Ace’s mouth on his and the feeling of his grinding his down against him. He groaned into Ace’s mouth, but pushed him up so that their mouths would part. “Harlow,” he said. “Is this really what you wanna do right now?” 

“What?” 

“I mean, you just went through a lot of shit. Do you really wanna just drown it out with sex and alcohol?”

“Yes.” 

Jack sighed. “Look,” he said, sitting up on his elbow. “It’s not that I don’t want to, I just don’t want to, um… take advantage of you.” 

“You’re not,” Ace insisted. “God, why does everyone insist on psychoanalyzing me?” He got up off Jack and the bed, then went to the nearby cooler to grab a drink.

“Harlow, I’m not psychoanalyzing you,” Jack said. “Hell, I don’t have to analyze anything, it’s pretty obvious to me how fucked up you are about this. I don’t want to have sex with you if you’re just doing it to avoid your problems.” 

Ace cracked open a beer and started chugging it. 

“Harlow, stop.” 

Ace pulled the bottle away from his mouth. “Stop telling me what to do!” he said indignantly. “Everyone thinks they know best for me. ‘Stop drinking, stop avoiding your feelings, don’t shoot radios with your pistol’, god! I can’t just- just unwind afer going through fucking hell in an abandoned casino?!”

“Drinking and fucking to forget what happened isn’t going to help,” Jack stood. 

“I wish I _could_ forget.” 

“Harlow.” Jack stood up and closed the distance between them. He took the bottle from Ace’s hand and placed it on the table nearby. “I know it sucks, but… running away isn’t going to solve anything.” 

“You ran away,” Ace said. “You ran away and left me alone.” 

“Harlow, I-” Jack stammered. “Harlow, I’m talking from experience. Two days after I left, I was almost killed by a deathclaw and was left with the ugly mug I’ve got now.” He reached up and traced the scars that ran over his lips. “There isn’t a fucking day where I don’t regret running away. I know you will, too, if you keep running like you do.” 

Ace didn’t look at him, just stared at the floor. Jack gently rested his hands on Ace’s arms, rubbing his thumbs across his skin. 

“It’s okay, Harlow,” he said. “You’ll be okay.” 

Ace hugged him, burying his face in Jack’s chest. He let Jack pull him over to the bed and tug his clothes off until he was in nothing but his underwear. He did the same for himself and pulled Ace into the bed with him, holding him close and dragging a blanket over the two of them. He hummed as he rubbed circles into his back. 

He couldn’t help but feel bittersweet about this whole thing. It wasn’t going to last. Ace would be gone the next day and he'd be alone again. He would give anything to keep him around for longer than one night. Ace offered to let him live in the Lucky 38 with the others, promising to give him all the caps he would need (god knows Ace had more than one man needed in a lifetime), but he couldn’t take advantage of Ace like that. He didn’t deserve it anyway. 

He just hoped the night would last a little longer than usual. 

*****

Ace wasn’t gone in the morning like he expected. He was asleep in the bed next to Jack, curled up in the blanket that he was hogging from Jack. He grinned at the sight and got out of bed, walking to the nearby bathroom to shave and brush his teeth. When he came back, Ace was still in the bed, but now he was sitting up, rubbing his eyes. 

“Sleep well?” Jack asked. 

“I don’t know,” Ace said. “I kinda have a headache, though.” 

“Aw, poor baby.” Jack padded over to the bed and sat next to him. Ace leaned over and rested his head on Jack’s chest, throwing an arm over his torso. Jack felt a knot in his throat and wished he could beg Ace to stay, but he knew he couldn’t ask that of him. Instead, he silently rubbed Ace’s arm, moving his hand back and forth across the soft skin. 

“I wish I didn’t have to leave,” Ace said. “I… I wanna stay here with you so much.” 

Jack carefully calculated his words before saying: “Maybe we could just… leave.” 

Ace shook his head. “I can’t do that. Too many people depend on me right now.” 

“What did they ever do for you?” Jack asks. “What makes them so deserving of your time and effort?”

“I can’t just… let people suffer, Jack,” Ace said. “You know that.”

“Okay, well,” Jack said with a sigh. “Maybe after, then.”

“Yeah. Yeah, That sounds good.” 

“We can make our way up North, go somewhere where no one will bother us.” 

“No more fighting, no more gangs, no more war.” 

“Just us.”


	2. Bitter Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ace and Jack part ways again.

Ace wasn’t sure he would ever leave Jack’s apartment. Not because Jack was forcing him to stay, he could have left whenever he wanted, but because he didn’t want to leave. It had been a week, though. He had responsibilities and people counting on him. He had to leave tonight. Things were coming to a crescendo and he was instrumental in this battle, whether he liked it or not.

Just as he decided to get up, get dressed, and leave, someone opened the door. He expected Jack to come through, with his crooked smile and smug attitude and his cocky saunter, but when he turned to look at the intruder, he found someone completely different. Boone stood in the doorway, rifle strapped to his back, staring Ace down across the room.

“Boone!” Ace scrambled to cover himself with the thin blanket near by. “How the fuck did you find me here?”

“I asked Yesman if he knew where you went,” Boone said. 

Ace sighed. “Of course, that stupid computer couldn’t tell a lie if you paid him,” he said. “Look, Boone, it’s not what it looks like, I-”

“Ace, it’s been a week. Everyone is worried. You can’t just pull a stunt like that and disappear to your little prostitute boyfriend’s flat.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Ace said indignantly.

“So what, you’ve just been living here with him for a week so you two can have casual sex every night?” Boone asked.

“Please, close the door…” Ace said quietly, and Boone, the true loyal friend that he is, stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

“Ace, you can’t just come back after being gone for weeks, refuse to answer any of our questions, shoot a radio for no reason, and then leave again and not come back for a week.”

“Who says I can’t do that?” Ace demanded. “I fucking own New Vegas, I can do what ever I want.”

“I did, me, your best friend,” Boone said. He took a few steps, inching closer to the bed. “And all your other friends in the Lucky 38. We’re _worried_ , Ace. You’re hurt, and it’s not that hard to tell.” He came even closer, sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked at Ace, who didn’t look at him, but at his hands in his lap. 

“My best friend, huh?” Ace asked. 

“Yeah, I would think so,” Boone said with a small laugh. “I’ve only been traveling with you for what? A year? I’ve seen you at your lowest and… you’ve definitely seen mine. I can’t really imagine anyone else as my best friend but you.” 

Ace sighed. “I left, because…” He looked up at Boone. “I didn’t know how to talk about what happened and… I was afraid of being vulnerable. With Jack, things are different. It’s easier to tell him things. I’ve known him since we were kids and he… understands me.” 

“And you don’t think I would understand?” Boone asked. 

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Ace said with a frustrated sigh. “You already seemed angry, and I get that you were worried, I just… didn’t wanna make you more upset.” 

“Ace,” Boone said. He reached over and placed a hand on Ace’s shoulder. “I’m not upset with you. I’m frustrated, but not because I’m mad. And it’s ok if you don’t want to talk about what happened yet.” His hand slid down to Ace’s elbow and he hesitated, considering grabbing his hand, before pulling away. “I’m just glad you’re safe.” 

The door opened again and Jack stepped in, wearing his usual work attire. He didn’t seem surprised in the least to see Boone with Ace on the bed, but like he expected what he saw and he was angry about it. 

“So,” he said, sounding painfully sarcastic. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Boone,” Ace said awkwardly. “He’s here because… I kinda ran away from him and my other friends and he was worried about me.” 

“Oh, the infamous Boone that I have heard so much about!” Jack said, then gave a low bow that Ace could was anything but genuine. “How honored I am to finally make your acquaintance.” 

“Jack, I know he kinda came here uninvited, but it’s not like you have to be a huge dickhead about it,” Ace said. 

Jack stood up straight and said, “Oh, it’s not a problem! No problem at all.” He closed the door behind him. Boone glared at him angrily and even from behind those shades, Ace could tell that he was fuming. Boone wasn’t one to take anyone’s bullshit and Jack wasn’t the kind of person who did anything but dish out bullshit to people who didn’t like it. 

“If I’m intruding, I can leave,” Boone said. He could barely contain his fury. 

“Oh no, it’s fine,” Jack said, waving his hand in the air as he headed towards the fridge. “Make yourself at home. Would you like a drink?”

At that, Boone got up and left, making sure to close the door tightly behind him. Once he was gone, Ace’s composure fell, and he felt a sudden wave of anger flow over him. He stood up, blanket falling to his ankles and angrily stalked over to where Jack stood as his nonchalantly sipped from a bottle of beer. He grabbed Jack by the collar of his white tank top and pulled him down to eye level, spitting in his face: “What the _fuck_ is your problem, Jack?”

Jack said nothing, just looked at him. 

“He wasn’t hurting anyone! Are you that fucking insecure that you have to be passive agressive to my friends when they come to check on me?” 

Jack still said nothing. He didn’t know what to say. He pretended to not feel anything, but in his mind he was furious. Inviting a fucking NCR guard dog into his home, what the fuck was Ace thinking? It’s not just that he was jealous (and he was, though he won’t admit it), it’s that he is wanted by the NCR and Ace knows this. Did he really think letting some fucking retired First Recon bootlicker into his apartment was a good idea? 

“So you’re not going to say anything?” Ace asked. With how close he was, Jack could see the tears in welling in his eyes. He let go of Jack’s shirt and Jack stood up straight, taking another sip of his beer. 

“Come on,” Ace said, his voice strained as he fought the tears coming from his eyes. “Say something!”

It hurt for Jack to watch, but then again, didn’t he deserve this?

“I’m sorry,” Jack said. “I was just.. Freaked out by the sight of an NRC guy in my apartment, is all. You know they got bounties out on me.” 

“It’s not like I invited him here, Jack,” Ace said, wiping his face with the side of his fist. “And he barely knows who you are. And he’s retired, I don’t even think he really cares about bounties so long as you’re not Legion.” 

Jack sighed. “It’s fine,” he said. “I overreacted.”

Aced sighed as well, then turned to pick up his pants from the floor. 

“So I guess you’re leaving?” Jack asked. 

“Yeah,” Ace answered. “It’s not like I have a choice. I got a lot of people counting on me to do this right. I have to beat the Legion or so many people are going to suffer.” He stood up straight after pulling his jeans on. “I really do wish I could stay, but things are in motion and I need to make sure they go smoothly.”

“But you’ll come back?” Jack said softly. “And then we’ll travel North?” 

Ace smiled at him sadly. “Yeah,” he said. “I promise.”


	3. Assessing the Damages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Second Battle of Hoover Dam is over and won, but Jack is no where to be found.

The battle was over, won in the name of the NCR. Ace wasn’t sure whether he was going to follow through with his promise to Jack- he couldn’t exactly leave, considering the position he was in, but even still, he and Boone went to his apartment to see him, check if he was ok after the battle. After all, it would have caused some upheaval in the areas surrounding New Vegas as well. He was nowhere to be found, however, and Ace quickly went about searching for him. They combed the entirety of New Vegas and the surrounding areas. Ace even enlisted a few of his companions, as well as sending out some of the securitrons to search. No sign of Jack turned up after an entire week, and Ace was starting to lose hope. Another day, another round of searching with Boone trailing at his heels as he always did, as faithful as ever. Boone was concerned that this wasn’t going anywhere productive. Jack could be dead, or maybe he just decided to leave the Mojave, considering his bad rap with the NCR. He couldn’t watch Ace continue to run himself ragged over a man that may not even want to be found. 

“There has to be somewhere that we haven’t searched,” Ace mumbled, kicking rocks as he went along. “Nellis? No, Yesman already reported them as a negative. Vault 22 was as empty as it was before. We already looked through West Side, and Jacobs town…” 

“Ace.” 

“Haven’t checked Novac yet, but I’m not sure he would even go that far from Freeside.” 

“Harlow.” 

“Already radioed Nash in Primm, said he hadn’t seen him…” 

“HARLOW,” Boone said, calling his attention as he grabbed the Courier’s arm. 

“What’s the big idea?” Ace said indignantly. 

“This is _pointless_ ,” Boone said. “We have been searching for a whole week and we haven’t even turned up his body or any trace that he’s still in the Mojave.” 

“So?” Ace said. “He could still be out there. We haven’t checked with the Khans, or-” 

“He’s _gone_ , Ace. There’s a high chance he’s dead, and even if he isn’t and we haven’t found him yet, he may not WANT to be found.” 

“But, why would he-” Ace pulled his arm away, looking away from Boone at the gate that led out to Freeside. “Why would he leave without me?” 

“Ace…” 

“We made a promise before the battle,” Ace said, turning back to Boone, fire in his eyes. “We-we said… that we would go North. Just us.” 

Boone tried to ignore the feeling in his chest of being shot right in the heart by that statement. Ace was Boone’s best friend. Did it maybe hurt that Ace would promise someone else that he would leave him behind in the Mojave? A little. But Ace was at his wits end. His lover, his childhood friend, was gone and there was no trace of him to be found. Boone had been in his shoes. He knew this feeling all too well. 

“Why would he leave me? He didn’t…” Ace’s voice faltered and he looked to the ground. “He didn’t even say goodbye. Every time he leaves, at least… At least he would say goodbye.” 

“I don’t know,” Boone said. “But I don’t think it matters why.” He closed the gap between them, placing an assuring hand on his shoulders. “He’s gone now, whether he’s dead or not, whether he left without you- it doesn’t change the fact that he’s gone, alright? You just gotta… move on, I guess.”

Ace sighed and looked back up at Boone. “Ok,” he said. “I… I guess we should go back to the Lucky 38, call back the others and all the Securitrons.” 

It struck Boone as a little strange that Ace wasn’t having a stronger reaction to this. He felt things so intensely, anger, sadness- Boone had seen this several times first hand. Perhaps Ace was trying to stay strong? He had a lot of people depending on him and there wasn’t exactly time to mourn. Boone gave a resigned sigh. 

“Sounds like a good idea,” he said. 

They were interrupted by an NCR Lieutenant calling their attention. He stood before Ace giving him a stiff salute. “Courier Six, sir!” he said. “Your presence is requested by Ambassador Crocker, sir. He has some business to discuss with you.” 

Ace huffed, blowing a strand of hair out of his face. “What’s he want now?” he said. “I saved the President already, didn’t I?” 

“Yes, sir, but,” the Lieutenant said. “There are further pressing matters that need to be handled.” 

Ace sighed. “Fine. Let’s go.” He started towards the Embassy, Boone following behind him as they went, the Lieutenant staying behind. 

New Vegas was crawling with NCR. Ace had personal connections to the NCR, and saw them as his kin almost, aside from their shortcomings and their bureaucracy. But now, since the battle ended and the war was over, he was starting to see a different side to them. One that he had been warned about by others. The one that takes advantage of the people in the locations they occupy. They were starting to leave a bitter taste in his mouth, and he had a feeling something was going to rear its ugly head in the coming days. 

At the Embassy, he was saluted by the lower ranking officials, the heavy troops, and rangers stationed there. A gesture he didn’t quite care for. They treated him like an officer despite his status as being basically a mercenary for them. The gesture followed him as he walked past the secretary to Crocker’s office, where he found the man sitting at his terminal, typing away as usual. 

“Ah, Courier Six,” he said. “Just the man I wanted to see.” He stood and dusted off his suit Jacket, holding out his hand. “May I offer my congratulations for your Victory at Hoover Dam.” 

Ace squinted at him. “I don’t shake hands,” he said. 

“R-right,” Crocker said. “Have a seat. You too, Mr. Boone.” 

Boone grunted, deciding to stay standing, arms folded firmly in front of him as Ace took a seat in front of the Ambassador’s desk. 

“... Or not.” Crocker cleared his throat. “In any case,” he said as he sat down. “The matter at hand is that of your securitrons.” 

“What about them?” Ace said. 

“The President- and this is not my opinion, this is just what I was told- feels they are… a threat to the NCR here in the Mojave.” 

Ace felt bile rise in the back of his throat. “A threat, huh?” he said. “What, he thinks I can’t be trusted with them?” 

“Y-yes,” Crocker said, clearly nervous. “But he is also afraid of them falling into the hands of someone else with more… malicious intent. He believes… As a sign of good faith between the NCR and New Vegas, the control of these robots should be handed over to the Colonel, so they could be used in a way that would benefit the Republic. You’ll be compensated handsomely, of course.” 

Ace scowled. “What makes the President think I would be willing to hand them over?” 

“He hopes… that you would be loyal to your people, Ace,” Crocker said. “You did grow up in the NCR, right? We have records of you working as a Courier in our territory out West.” 

“And that means I would hand over an arsenal of powerful robots to you?” 

“Well, n-not necessarily-” 

“Tell you what, Crocker,” Ace said. “Give me a week to… think about it. Then I will come to you with my decision. Sound like a deal?” 

“Of course,” Crocker said. “We only hope you will make… the _right_ choice.” 

“As do I.” 

Ace stood up and left, Boone following behind him. He tried to maintain his composure, not letting any of the NCR dogs smell his anger. Boone followed him to the Lucky 38, and as soon as they were inside, he asked: “You’re not seriously considering handing them over Colonel Autumn, are you?” 

“Of course not, Boone, I’m not an idiot,” Ace said. “If they had the securitrons… the amount of damage they could do…” 

“So what are you going to do now?” 

“Figure out what to do next. I’m starting to think letting them have the Dam was a bad idea.” 

Boone, despite his own NCR loyalties, had to agree. The past week he has seen more misfourtain at their hands than he had ever seen before. People were displaced and even executed for not following the NCR’s demands. It wasn’t right. He couldn’t sit idly by and let it happen. Not again.

“Guess we could figure that part out later,” Boone said. “For right now, you look tired. We should go up and get some rest.” 

Ace sighed. “You’re right.” 

*****

The Presidential Suite was plenty spacious for two people to live in. Two bedrooms, one for Boone, and the master bedroom for the Courier. The kitchen was well stocked- he often had Yesman run errands to make sure there was enough food for everyone at the casino. So there was definitely plenty to eat. When the elevator stopped at the suite and the door opened, Rex immediately came bounding forward and pounced on Ace. He stood on his hind legs, licking his face. 

“Haha- I missed you too, boy,” Ace laughed, making him go back down on all fours. “Bet you’re hungry, huh? Why don’t we all get some food?” 

He went into the kitchen, Rex and Boone both following him. He pulled a plate of iguana bits from the fridge and placed it on the floor for Rex to eat, which he did, almost immediately. He went back into the fridge and pulled out some brahmin milk and grabbed a pack of Blamco from the shelf. 

“Mac and cheese sound good?” he said. 

“Uh, yeah,” Boone said. He didn’t really care either way. He was just relieved to see Ace acting semi-relaxed for once. His long brown hair was losing itself from the ribbon used to tie it back, and he couldn’t help but smile as he watched the Courier start cooking. He sat at the table, placing his rifle in front of him. As fate would have it, there was an old pile of rags left on the table from the last time he sat there to field strip his gun. He grabbed them, deciding to just polish out the buffs on the metal bits as he watched Ace cook. At some point, sick of the silence, he reached to the radio and turned the knob. There was static, and he saw Ace visibly flinched. He heard a snap and half of the wooden spoon he was using fell to the floor. 

“Turn it off,” he mumbled, barely audible. 

“What?” 

“I said, turn the damn radio off,” Ace said, trying to contain his frustration. No, not frustration, it was something else. He was shaking, barely able to stand. Fear. He was filled with fear. 

Boone followed the order and when the static stopped, Ace’s body visibly relaxed. “Thank you,” he said. He picked up the broken spoon and tossed it to the side, grabbing a clean one to use and continued to cook. 

Boone was reminded of the other day when Ace returned from the Sierra Madre, and he shot the radio as Lily turned it on. He had never actually told Boone what happened, or what had gotten him so scared of radios all of a sudden. He knew now wasn’t exactly the best situation to ask, of course. Ace would tell him when he was comfortable, but he figured having an in depth conversation about the trauma he sustained there over mac and cheese wasn’t exactly what he had planned for the evening. So, Boone said nothing, continuing to polish his rifle in the silence. 

Once Ace was done cooking, he dished out two plates for them and pulled two bottles of beer out of the fridge, placing them on the table for him and Boone. He sat down and said: “I.. don’t mind the radio,” he said. “We can listen, if you want, I would just… prefer a warning before you turn it on. The static, it, uh…” 

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” Boone said, scooping a heaping pile of mac and cheese into his mouth. “I’ll be sure to warn you next time, alright?” 

Ace sighed in relief. “Thank you,” he said as he reached for the radio, turning the knob. He flinched as there was a beat of static, then the music tuned in, and he relaxed. 

“ _Play the guitar, play it again, my Johnny…_ ”

They ate without talking for a bit, enjoying the music before a commercial break from Mr. New Vegas. It was peaceful, a beat in time where they were finally allowed reprieve from the continued stressors of Mojave life. When was the last time either of them even ate hot food, at a table no less? Boone tried not to be obvious as he watched Ace, his plate empty and his head resting in his hand, eyes closed, as the other scratched Rex’s head where it rested in his lap. This feeling was… the domesticity, the peaceful quiet- it felt.. Familiar. For a moment, Karla flashed in his mind, but he pushed the thought away. Ace was NOT Karla. He didn’t even like Ace like that, or so he told himself. 

Boone decided to stand up and clear the table, taking the empty plates and bottles to the sink to rinse them. Rex got up to follow, hoping Boone would let him lick the plates and he wagged his tail as Boone cleaned. Ace watched him and smiled. Ace had felt it, too. The peacefulness, the domesticity, the calm. It was different and pleasant, and sharing a moment like this with Boone was… well it was nice. He felt at home. When Boone turned to look at the table and saw Ace looking at him, he got flustered. 

“W-what?” he stammered.

“Hm? Oh- nothing,” Ace said. “I was just… staring into space.”

“Right.” 

Ace looked at his Pipboy. It was late- 9 PM. “I think I’m gonna turn in for tonight.” He stood, patting his leg. “C’mon, boy, bed time.” He left the kitchen, Rex trailing behind him as he often did, and went to his bedroom. 

And in a second, it was over. Boone was alone in the kitchen and he felt suffocated by the emptiness as the music floated through the air. He sighed, leaving the radio on in the kitchen and went to his own bedroom for the night.


	4. No More Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack returns.

There was a loud clash of thunder and Boone jolted up in his bed. He breathed heavily, dragging a hand down his face. Thunderstorms didn’t bother him, but he was already having a nightmare. All his dreams were nightmares, he was used to it by now, but the added shock of thunder was enough to bring him back to consciousness. Just as he was about to lay back down, he could hear whimpering down the hall. At first he thought it was Rex- dogs don’t like thunderstorms after all- but after listening closely he realised it was more human than that. Worried about Ace now, he got up and went out into the hallway, knocking on Ace’s door. 

“Harlow…?” he said. “You alright?” 

No response, just more whimpering. He pushed the door open to find Ace on the bed in a fetal position, shaking and sobbing. Rex was curled up against him, whining and nuzzling him. 

“Ace, what’s wrong?” Boone asked. “I didn’t think you were scared by thunderstorms-” 

“Turn it off…”

“What?” 

“The radio, I-I can hear it, t-turn it off, please-” 

Boone realised he could hear the radio from the kitchen, but instead of music came the loud drone of static. He went into the kitchen and turned the radio off before coming back into Ace’s room. He was still on the bed, curled up, but he had stopped crying. 

“Ace, are you alright?” 

“No.” 

“Can… can I do something?” 

“Stay…” 

“Stay?” 

“Stay with me?” Ace said, turning over just enough to look at Boone. “You d-don’t have to, I just- I don’t wanna be alone.” 

Boone closed the door behind him with a quiet click. “Of course,” he said. He walked up to the bed and sat on the edge, resting a hand on Ace’s shoulder. With his touch, Ace uncurled a little, but he still clutched his pillow firmly to his chest. 

“It wasn’t the thunderstorm,” Ace clarified. “I-it was the radio. When that last clap of thunder hit, the signal went out and… there was just... Static. I could hear it from here and it…” He sniffed, trying to keep from crying. 

“It’s alright, Harlow,” Boone said, rubbing circles into his shoulder with his thumb. “I keep saying you don’t have to explain yourself to me.” 

“I-I know,” Ace said. “I’m just…” He trailed off unable to finish the sentence. 

They sat in silence for a moment, and Ace seemed to calm as Boone offered his silent comfort. After a while, Ace unfurled completely and repositioned the pillow under his head. 

“Thank you,” he said. “You can leave if you want.” 

“Do you want me to?” Boone asked. 

“... No.” 

“Then I won’t.” 

There was a pregnant beat of silence. “You can lay next to me, if you want. I-I know it’s probably kind of awkward, but I’m sure you’re tired and there’s plenty of room.” 

“I wouldn’t mind it, but,” Boone said. “Are you ok with this?” 

“Yes,” Ace said. “I would… actually appreciated it. I’m still… I don’t wanna be alone.” 

Boone sighed, trying and failing not to sound fond. “Alright.” 

Ace shooed Rex away, commanding him off the bed, and he obeyed. Boone stood up and moved so that he could slide into bed next to Ace. In his state of undress, wearing only his boxer shorts, he could barely make out a myriad of scars on the courier’s body in the dimly lit room, not the least of which being two vertical scars across his chest, just beneath his nipples. He paid them no mind, deciding not to ask him any questions for now, and laid on his side facing Ace. Ace’s eyes were already closed, and he looked to be close to falling asleep again. His breathing was evening out, and he looked much more relaxed. His brown hair fell messily in his face and Boone pushed back the urge to tuck it behind his ear. 

“Is this ok?” Boone whispered again, making double sure this was what Ace needed. 

Ace nodded sleepily. “Mm-hm,” he said. “Thank you, Boone…” He seemed to fall asleep then and Boone watched him for a moment longer as he breathed in and out slowly before turning over onto his back to stare at the ceiling. His heart was racing. God, what was he doing? Why did this make him feel so embarrassed? He was just trying to comfort his friend after a panic attack, right? He tried to calm his treacherous heart and push his emotions down again and close his eyes to sleep, but he couldn’t keep his mind off of it. The thunder didn’t help, either. He looked back over at Ace as he slept, and his heart leaped. He hadn’t felt like this about anyone else since…-

He clenched his eyes shut, refusing to entertain the idea for now. He was tired. He needed to sleep. Examining the feelings he was having could wait until the morning. 

*****

Ace awoke nuzzled into Boone’s chest and felt the weight of his arm draped over his waist. He remembered last night- the panic attack, Boone coming to the rescue and staying with him, but he didn’t remember Boone wrapping his arms around him like this. Gently, trying not to wake him, Ace shimmied out of his arms and as he sat up, he felt his face get hot. He covered it with his hands. 

_Jesus Christ, what am I doing? Why did I ask him to stay?_

There was a shift in the bed and Ace was afraid Boone was waking up, but he just turned over in bed, turning away from him, and settled back down. Ace sighed in relief, but was suddenly jolted by a very loud knocking on his door. 

“Um, Mr. Ace,” called a familiar cheery voice. “Sorry to wake you, but something, uh, important demands your attention.” 

“Yesman,” Ace said. “What could you possibly want this early in the morning?” 

“It’s… almost noon, sir.” 

Ace sighed. “What is it that you need?” 

“There’s a guy standing outside the Casino,” Yesman said through the door. “He keeps yelling about how he knows the Courier and how he needs to be let in to the Casino.” 

Ace squinted. “What does he look like?” he asked. 

“Blond hair, long, shaved on the sides. Scars on his face and a spider tattoo on his shoulder.” 

_Jack_.

Ace flew out of bed, quickly pulling on his trousers and a shirt, not bothering to pull on his boots. Boone sat up in bed, woken by the movement. 

“Wha- What’s happening?” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. 

“It’s Jack.” 

“Did someone find him?” 

“No, he found me.” 

Ace ran out of the room, and Boone tripped over himself, trying to gather his bearings. “Ace, wait for me,” he said. He had only a t-shirt and his boxers on, he was in no condition to leave the presidential suite. 

“Just meet me downstairs,” Ace said, pushing past the securitron in the hallway and impatiently pressing the down button on the elevator over and over. Once the door finally opened, he wasted no time taking it down to the casino floor and walking out into the casino, across the dingy carpet with bare feet. He threw open the doors to the casino and found an altercation at the base of the steps. It was Jack for sure, arguing with the two securitrons that were stationed outside the casino, while a crowd of NCR soldiers and casino-goers gathered around and looked on. 

“C’mon, I’ve known him since we were kids, man!” Jack said indignantly. 

“Sorry, sir, but I can’t let you in without the boss’s permission,” Yesman said. 

“But I’m his fucking boyfriend!”

“Sorry, we were told not to make acceptions for anyone, and you’re anyone, so you can’t go in til he says.” 

“Jack,” Ace called down the steps. Jack looked up at him and smiled. 

“Harlow,” he said fondly.

“Let him through,” Ace ordered. The securitrons parted for Jack and he bounded up the steps. Once at the top he wrapped his arms around him, almost knocking the man over. 

“Oh my god, I thought you were dead,” Ace said, hugging back and burying his face in Jack’s shoulder. 

“You thought _I_ was dead?” Jack pulled away to look Ace in the eye. “I thought _you_ were dead!”

“Why?” 

“I left a note in my flat,” Jack explained. “It said to meet me in the Northern Passage. I thought, when you didn’t come…” 

“I didn’t see a note,” Ace said. “I turned New Vegas upside down looking for you, and… I never saw a note in your apartment, Jack. I-I’m sorry, I-”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Jack said, tucking a hair behind his ear. “You’re alive. I’m alive. That’s what matters.” He pulled Ace into a kiss just as the doors to the casino were pushed open and Boone stepped out into the daylight. He saw Ace kissing his lover right in front of him and his heart sank to his stomach. 

Ace wasn’t his boyfriend. They weren’t romantically involved at all, so why was he upset? The sight before him was infuriating. He felt angry, he felt sick, he felt betrayed, he felt- he felt jealous. He clenched his fists, trying to push the feeling down, and crossed his arms, leaning back against the closed doors to the casino as he waited for Jack and Ace to finish. When they pulled away, Jack was the first one to notice him standing there and his face busted out in a that big, sarcastic, lopsided grin of his. 

“Guess the sniper likes to watch, huh?” he chimed. 

Ace turned to look behind them, pulling his arms away from Jack. He felt very embarrassed suddenly, despite just having kissed Jack in front of a whole crowd of people. “Hey, Boone,” he said shyly. “When’d you get out here.” 

“You know we spent a lot of time looking for you,” Boone said to Jack. “Turned practically every rock in the Mojave over to find you.” 

Jack laughed darkly. “You say ‘we’ as if you actually give a shit if I die or not,” he said. 

“I care if Ace does.” 

“Why do you people keep calling him Ace?” Jack said, annoyed. “That stupid nick name-” 

“Jack, it’s fine. I like being called Ace,” Ace said. “C’mon, why don’t we all go upstairs and have a drink?” 

“I don’t think I wanna have a drink with _him_ ,” Jack said, jerking his head in Boone’s direction. 

“Then don’t,” Boone said. He stuck his hands into his pockets and started walking. 

“Wait, where are you going?” Ace said walking after him. 

Boone shrugged. “I don’t know, but if you two want alone time, be my guest.” 

Ace sighed as he walked away. Jack grabbed his hand and squeezed. 

“C’mon,” he said. “Let’s go.” 

Ace led him into the casino. Jack had never been inside the Lucky 38 before and he was surprised to find it… almost like a time capsule. He wasn’t the first person inside since the bombs fell, of course, but he was one of the very few people allowed inside and lay his eye on the interior, frozen in time as it had been 200 years ago. He followed Ace up to the cocktail lounge, where he told Jack he could sit on a nearby couch as he poured the two of them glasses of whiskey over ice. He handed one to Jack, then sat on the couch next to him, catching him up on what happened while he was gone. 

“So the NCR won the day, huh?” Jack said, swirling his whiskey around in his glass. “Kind of a shame, don’t you think?” 

“Yeah,” Ace said. “I’m… starting to realize my choice was a little short sighted.” 

“Gee, ya think?” Jack chuckled. “So what’s your plan?” 

“I don’t know yet. All I know is something needs to be done soon to minimize the damage. I gotta fix this before more people are hurt.” 

“Why does it have to be you?” Jack asked. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You always put so much pressure on yourself to help people. What have they ever done for you to earn your help.” 

“I can’t just… stand by and do nothing while people suffer, Jack,” Ace said. “You know this. There are people being hurt and killed right now. What am I supposed to do, pretend I don’t see it happening right before my eyes?” 

Jack chuckled softly. “Ain’t that just like you,” he said. “Always the ever bleeding heart.” 

“Well, what would _you_ suggest I do?” 

“You could leave. Come north with me. We won’t ever have to worry about this place anymore.” 

“You know I can’t do that,” Ace said with a sigh. 

“But you said-” 

“I know, but… I find myself in a situation where I have the lives of a lot of people in my hands. Again. And I can’t just throw them to the wolves.” He picked at the dead skin on the edge of his fingers, letting the ice in his glass of whiskey melt on the table, leaving a ring of condensation. 

“You could stay with me, if you want,” he suggested. “Live here with me in the Lucky 38 and… ya know, help me take care of New Vegas.” 

Jack scoffed. “I don’t like helping people for nothin’,” he said. “But… for you, I might consider it.” He placed his whiskey down on the coffee table and reached up to cup Ace’s face. Ace lifted a hand and placed it over Jack’s, smiling at him. “I missed you, you know.” 

“I missed you, too. I thought for sure you were gone for good. I-I’m so glad…” Tears pricked his eyes and he sniffed. 

“Hey, no tears, ok,” Jack said. “That’s my rule for now, alright? I don’t wanna see you cry anymore, so help me, and I’m gonna make sure nothing makes you cry anymore, alright?” 

Ace nodded and Jack kissed him, pushing him back onto the couch and pulling him into his arms. 

“Please stay this time,” Ace said, pulling away from the kiss. “For me? I-I would miss you if you left.” 

“Ok,” Jack said. “I will.” He kissed Ace again, but he tasted something bitter at the back of his throat. Guilt. A pit in his stomach told him he wouldn’t be able to follow through with that promise.


	5. Staying Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Events are starting to be put in motion while Ace deals with the heartbreak of being left alone again.

Ace woke to a quiet, empty bedroom, light filtering in from the window. It was silent, and the place beside him where Jack had slept was empty. He sat up, reaching over to run a hand of the sheets where his body had been just hours before. It was cold. He had already been gone a long time. Ace felt his throat clench as he pulled the pillow Jack had used and held it close to his chest. It smelled like him. The tears started falling, wetting the pillow in his arms as he started to sob.

There was a knock on his door, soft and almost afraid, before it creaked open and Boone walked into the room. Ace didn’t move. Didn’t say anything. 

“Ace?” Boone called. 

Ace only sobbed into the pillow and mumbled something into the fabric and Boone could almost make out: “He left me again”, something to that effect. 

“I… was going to ask if you were alright but I guess not,” Boone said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck and kicking the carpet beneath his boot. He wasn’t sure what to do. He could handle a panic attack, but this was a little different. These were sticky, uncomfortable, painful, messy emotions and… he didn’t really do feelings. He wasn’t sure how to help with this or what to even say. He was out of his depth, all he could think of to say was-

“It’s ok, Harlow.” He closed the gap between him and the bed, daring the sit on the edge of it, hoping his silent companionship would be enough. He wasn’t good with words, in the past Karla did enough talking for the both of them, and now that role was taken on by Ace. He wasn’t even sure if Ace wanted to be touched- maybe a hug? A pat on the back? God, he was useless. 

Just then he felt a pressure on his arm as Ace leaned forward and rested his forehead on his shoulder. He reached up to grab the sleeve of Boone’s shirt, clenching it in his fist so hard his knuckles turned white. 

“He didn’t even say goodbye,” he mumbled through the tears. 

“Oh, Harlow,” Boone sighed. He turned to pull Ace into a hug, letting the smaller man bury his face in his chest and wrap his arms around his waist. He wrapped his arms around Ace protectively, gently rubbing his hand up and down Ace’s back to comfort him. He felt… angry. Vengeful. But mostly, he felt the need to protect Ace, more than he had before. Nothing and no one was gonna hurt him the same way Jack has, not if he had anything to say about it. 

“Boone?” Ace mumbled against Boone’s chest. 

“Yeah?” 

“Stay?” 

“Of course, Harlow. I’m not going anywhere, not for a long time.” He reached up a hand to rest on Ace’s head, drawing his hand down his brown hair in repeated strokes. Something shifted in him, a realization so strong he felt like he was hit with a bolder. Maybe he did like Ace like that. It struck him deep, and almost hurt, but it was also… almost a relief. Like a weight had been lifted from his chest and he could finally breathe again. He loved Ace. Jesus Christ, _he was in love with Harlow Ahearna_.

He didn’t say anything more after that. He couldn’t. What would he even say now? “I love you”? God, he felt like a fool. 

“Boone, we should… We need to get up and do something,” Ace mumbled. He reluctantly pulled away from Boone. “We still haven’t figured out what to do about the securitrons or the NCR yet.” 

“Yeah, I… almost forgot,” Boone said. “What do you think we should do now?” 

“I… I don’t know,” Ace said. “God, I hadn’t thought that far ahead.” He sat up and wiped his face. Boone’s hand fell to Ace’s waist, not wanting to let go. 

“Do you at least have any ideas?” Boone asked. 

Ace stood up from the bed, kicking the covers as they fell to his feet. “I was thinking off… gathering some people at Novac, going over a plan with them there.” 

“Who?” 

Ace shrugged. “Our friends,” he said. “Arcade and the Remnants, the Boomers. Allies who will follow behind me if I asked.” 

“What kind of plan did you have in mind?” Boone asked. 

“I have no idea.”

*****

The Old Mormon Fort was definitely still feeling the battle even after more than a week. Injured civilians and soldiers alike were set up in the ragtag tents and cots, and the entire fort was more packed than Ace had ever seen it before. He and Boone weaved through the people to get to where Arcade stood at the back, taking a smoke break between patients. When he saw Ace, he grinned.

“Hey, Harlow, it’s been a while,” he said. “I don’t think I saw you since we left the Enclave bunker. Boone,” he added, nodding an acknowledgement to the sniper.

“Arcade.” Boone nodded back.

“How’s being king of New Vegas?” Arcade said as he dropped his cigarette on the ground and stamped it out with his boot. 

“Not great,” Ace said. “Listen, we need your help again. I thought… I was doing the right thing, but I may have made the wrong decision.” 

“You figure that out on your own?” Arcade said. 

“I tried to take the easy way out because… I thought the NCR could just handle it for me, but I realized I just hurt more people than I helped.” 

“Alright, Harlow. What do you need me to do?” 

“Help me make a plan,” Ace said, then added in a more hushed voice. “I want to take back Hoover Dam and drive the NCR out of the Mojave.” 

Arcade frowned and glanced over at Boone. “You sure _he’s_ ok with his?” he said, jerking his head in Boone’s direction. 

“Believe me, I am,” Boone told him indignantly.

“First things first: do you think you could get a hold of the Remnants again?” Ace asked. 

Arcade scratched his chin. “Probably…” he said. “I don’t know how easy they’ll be to find, but if we convinced them to fight once, we can probably bring ‘em back together again.” 

“Ok, now. We need a meeting place. Somewhere out of the NCR’s reach.” 

“We were thinking Nova,” Boone said. 

“Well...” Arcade said. “It’s kind of close to Camp Forlorn Hope. I think they’d notice if a vertibird and a large group of people gathered there.”

“I think before they have time to notice it will be late,” Ace said. “Plus Daisy already lives there so it’s not like she has to take the vertibird to get there.” 

“Fair point,” Arcade. “Alright, I’ll call them there again. I’m sure you have other people you need to meet with there as well?” 

“Yeah,” Ace told him. “Not too many people, but enough to cover some bases. Meet me there in two days, alright? And… stay safe, ok?” 

“Harlow, you don’t need to tell me twice,” Arcade said with a chuckle, then gave Ace a goodbye hug and shook Boone’s hand before they headed towards the entrance. Before they could actually leave, however, they were accosted by a Freeside resident. 

“You!” he shouted angrily, pointing at Ace. He was ragged, clearly injured with a bandage over one eye and his other arm in a sling. “You’re that courier!” he spat at Ace. “You did all this, this is your fault!” 

Ace was taken aback by the affront. The man had clearly been injured in the battle a week prior. His statement hit Ace deep, piercing his heart. He was right- this _was_ his fault. 

“Because of you, I lost my eye!” the man said. “And so many other people are injured and dead! What gives you the right!” He closed the gap between them, poking Ace in the chest. “Who gave you the right to cause this much destruction?” 

Ace was speechless, simply staring at his shoes. 

“You got nothing to say for yourself? Huh, _Courier_?” 

Just then, Boone grabbed Ace by the hand and pulled him behind him, putting himself between Ace and the man before them. “Lay off,” he said, laying his hand flat on the man’s chest and pushing him away. 

“Oh, ‘course you have some NCR guy trailing behind like a dog to fight your battles for you,” the man said. “What are you gonna, shoot me? Go ahead, I dare you!” 

“Why don’t you go lay back down, Manfred?” A Followers doctor came up behind the man and placed a hand on his back. It was Julie Farkas. “It won’t do you any good to let yourself get this stressed.” 

“But-” 

“Go to your tent, or we will restrain you.” 

Manfred put his hand in his pocket and walked off, grumbling angrily to himself. 

“I’m sorry about him,” Julie said. “A lot of our patients have… strong feelings about the NCR, and… You, it seems,” she added, in reference to Ace. “A lot of them were hurt by this last battle and a lot of them lost people. So it's reasonable to think they would be upset.” 

“Well, thanks for calling him off,” Boone said. “We’ll be leaving now, avoid any more problems.” 

“Sounds like a wise idea,” Julie said. “But remember, no matter our patients' opinions, both of you are welcome here if you ever need our help.” 

Ace nodded, and gave a weak, “Thank you.” Boone pulled Ace forward, leasing him out of the fort. Once outside, he pulled Ace close and looked him up and down. 

“You alright?” he asked, not letting go of Ace’s hand.

“Yes,” he lied. “I’m fine.” 

“What he said back there was bullshit,” Boone said. “You were… you just did what you thought was the right thing, you didn’t know-” 

“He’s right,” Ace said. “This is all my fault. None of these people would have been hurt if I hadn’t let the NCR run rampant.” 

“You can’t know that,” Boone tried to reassure him, giving his hand a squeeze. “You can’t see the future, Harlow.” 

“I know,” Ace said. “That doesn’t mean these people didn’t get hurt because of me, because they did.” 

“You did hurt them, Ace. The NCR did that.” 

“Does it matter? I’m the one-” 

“Yes, it does matter,” Boone said indignantly as he became more frustrated. “Look, you didn’t hurt these people. You didn’t kill any of them, either alright? You did the best with what you were given.” 

“... I’m not sure I believe that,” Ace said with a dark laugh. 

“Well I do, ok?” Boone said. “Let’s go. We gotta get ready to leave for Novac tomorrow.” 

He led Ace towards New Vegas, not letting his hand go for one moment. Ace thought about how silly it must look, having Boone lead him around, holding his hand like they were dating or something. His face flustered at the thought and for a moment he wanted to tear his hand away in embarrassment… And yet he didn’t. He let Boone pull him along, let him do the leading for once, and he felt his heart skip. Boone was always there- he had been more constant in his life the past year than Jack had been for the past ten years. Ace looked down at his boots and smiled.


	6. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ace and Boone return to Novac.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if there's like. geographical errors in this, it has actaully been quite some time since i played new vegas so i may not exactly remember the distance between Novac and Cottonwood Cover so im not sure if they're really that close or not. 
> 
> Any way this chapter has like. My favorite part to write so far so i hope you enjoy it.

After a long day’s trek across the Mojave, the three of them- Boone, Ace, and Rex- made it to Novac. The settlement seemed a little worse for wear, surrounded by sand bag walls defended by the few inhabitants that could hold a gun. No doubt they felt a blow on the day of the battle the same way New Vegas and Freeside had. They were reasonably close to Cottonwood Cove, after all so it wasn’t unbelievable that they could be attacked by the Legion. They approached the entrance, where the guards took a defensive stance, but once they recognized who was approaching they relaxed and let the two of them through. Once inside the courtyard, Boone noticed Manny smoking a cigarette outside the big dinosaur. When he saw Boone, his expression soured and he tossed his cigarette to the ground, not bothering to snuff it out before he stormed over to them. 

“You got a lot of fucking nerve showing your face around here, _Craig Boone_ ,” he spart as he grabbed Boone by the shirt, pulling him down to his eye level. 

Boone was unfazed. “Manny.” 

“You think you can just… leave us to fend for ourselves like that? Run off on your little adventures with your boyfriend?” Manny demanded. 

“I wasn’t going on _adventures_ , Manny,” Boone said, not evening bothering to correct the “boyfriend” part of his statement as he grabbed the other snipers wrist and pushed him away. Boone had always been the bigger, stronger one of the two, so he could manhandle Manny like it was nothing. He still restrained himself, however. “I was helping Ace destroy the Legion.” 

“Fat lot of good that did when they came from the West to fuck up the whole town,” Manny said. “We barely made it out of that scrap with them by a hair. A lot of us were injured. No one was killed, thank god, but if you had been here-” 

“Will you back off, Manny?” Ace said. “God, don’t be such a cockbite.” 

“ _I’m_ being a cockbite?!” Manny said indignantly. “Boone was the best lookout we had here, and he ran off with you, leaving us defenseless.” 

“We’re not here to argue with you about a battle that’s already over and won, Manny,” Ace told. “We’re here on business. And if you’ll kindly let us go about it, I would appreciate it.” 

Manny glared at Ace. He had previously considered the Courier a friend, but now he stared back at him, cold and harsh and unfeeling. Something seemed to have changed in him since he was last in Novac. 

“Hmph. Fine.” Manny kicked the dirt and walked away to his bungalow.

With that, Ace turned on his heels and led Boone and Rex up the stairs of the motel to his room. He dug the key out of his pocket and unlocked the door, letting it swing open with a creak. The inside was dark and dust floated through the air, lit by the orange sunlight filtering through the cracks in the blinds. He stepped inside, pulling his laser rifle off his back and resting it on the trunk at the end of the bed before he pulled off his leather jacket and hung it on the coat rack. Boone came in the room behind him, gesturing to Rex for him to go inside, and closed the door as Ace sat down on the bed and stretched with a groan. He undid the laces of his boots and kicked them off. 

“God, I forgot how long it takes to get here,” he said with a yawn, falling backwards on the bed. “I’m beat.” 

Boone said nothing, just leaned his rifle against the wall by the door and took a seat on the couch beneath the window, mirroring Ace’s movements as he kicked off his boots. He thought about the words Manny had spat at them moments ago. Was it his fault that people had gotten hurt? Surely Manny could have handled it on his own. 

“Do you think… Manny was right?” he ventured, looking for reassurance. 

Ace sat up, looking at him with a cocked eyebrow. “No,” he said. “You’ve been gone a couple months now. Neither of us have been back here in that time. I’m pretty sure most people would have just tried to find a replacement.” 

“You sure?” 

“You don’t have to answer to Manny,” Ace told him. “Hell, you don’t even have to answer to me. You could leave anytime you want and I wouldn’t stop you. Of course I don’t _want_ you to leave, so don’t get any ideas,” Ace added with a laugh. 

“Believe me, I’m not leaving anytime soon,” Boone told him with a soft chuckle. He didn’t feel reassured by his statement. Wouldn't leaving Novac only for it to get attacked in his absence count as negligence? He understood now why Ace was so convinced he had hurt those people- he was feeling the same guilt. 

Ace stood up and pulled his jeans off, kicking them to the side as he sat back down onto the bed and pulled his legs up, laying down and pulling the covers over his shoulders with his back facing Boone. “Are you going to stay here, or… go to your room?” he asked over his shoulder. 

“Do you want me to stay?” 

“I’m not asking you what _I_ want, Boone, I’m asking what _you_ want.” He turned over to Boone, giving him a pointed look that sent heat all over his body. He hoped Ace couldn’t tell how hot his ears felt in the low light. “Do _you_ want to stay?” 

“Yes.” 

“Then stay.” 

There was an awkward beat of silence. Boone wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He was tired as Ace was, and he sure wouldn’t mind a nap, but where would he sleep? The couch? Next to Ace? 

“You tired?” Ace asked. 

“Yeah,” Boone answered. 

“There’s room on the bed,” Ace told him. “I don’t mind if you don’t.”

Boone nodded, standing up to slide off his own pants, leaving only his boxers shorts. He moved to slide into the bed next to Ace, laying next to him on his back, awkwardly staring up at the ceiling. This was familiar- laying stiffly in bed next Ace as he looked up and watched the ceiling fan rotate lazily with a creaking moan every rotation. Wasn’t it just the other night he was in the same position?

“Hey, c’mon,” Ace said, lightly tapping Boone’s shoulder with the back of his hand. Boone looked over at him- a slight smile, cheeks pink from the Mojave sun, and messy brown hair. The sight made his heart beat in double time. “You don’t have to be so damn stiff. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before.” 

Boone’s mouth was dry- his tongue wouldn’t move no matter how hard he willed it. His hand, however, seemed to move on his own, as he turned over onto his side and reached to brush the hair out of Ace’s face. Ace didn’t move to stop him, only leaned into his touch as Boone brushed a thumb over his freckled cheek bone. If anything, he seemed to be inching closer, his hand drifting towards Boone and resting against his chest as it heaved with his breath.

“Harlow, I-” 

“Can you _please_ just kiss me?” 

And in the silent moment, waves crashed over them as Boone closed the gap, placing his lips against Ace’s and kissing him tenderly and sweetly- sweet like the vanilla from a bottle of sarsaparilla, tender like a bruise on your skin that you can’t leave alone- and everything seemed alright. The Mojave melted around them, leaving only the dim room of the Dino Bite Motel filled with the last rays of an Autumn sunset, yellow and warm. When Boone pulled away, he buried his face in Ace’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around the smaller man and clutching his shirt, as if Ace would slip through his fingers if he didn’t hold him tight enough. 

“I love you,” he mumbled. “I-I love you, I love you.” He repeated himself like he couldn’t believe the words had left his mouth. 

“I love you, too,” Ace said back. He returned the embrace just as tightly, letting himself be surrounded by Boone- his clothes, his skin, his smell of gunpowder and cigarettes and sweat. “I love you,” he said again, softer this time, as if to reassure his partner that his affection was returned. 

The two of them laid there, limbs tangled together in a heap, almost as if they were one being, and they fell asleep as the sunset outside the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you couldn't tell i really like sappy, flowery prose. My gay ass cannot resist tender confessions of love at sunset.


End file.
